A-D-H-Doh…doh,doh,doh – doh,doh,doh

THIS HERE THAT ICE COLD, MICHELLE PFEIFER, THAT WHITE GOLD! THIS HERE FOR THEM…

…Oh…wait. I was writing a blog post. Sorry! I have ADHD so I can be distractible.

Pineapple has ADHD, too. It’s taken several years of speech language therapy, frustrated meetings with doctors and preschool teachers, and a MISERABLE half year of kindergarten to get to this point but we’ve arrived.

Pineapple has been diagnosed with severe (like off-the-charts) ADHD. And if you know anyone with ADHD, or maybe have it yourself, you might understand that along with a true diagnosis comes some other issues, as well. In our case, we’re looking at Oppositional Defiant Disorder (unlike how it sounds, it essentially means that because she has trouble focusing, once she focuses enough to make a plan, she is LOCKED in and if you CHANGE those plans…the fans can get pretty shitty, if you know what I mean), speech-language delay (which was initially caused by her hearing loss from ear infections but is perpetuated by her inability to pay attention), and some gross motor issues (like hugging her friends too hard).

We’ve been seeing a specialist for months and have tried everything from changing her diet and sleeping patterns to new discipline methods (timers don’t last long in our house…wonder why?), and reward methods (SO MANY STUFFED ANIMALS AND STICKERS). And absolutely none of it worked. NONE.

And it’s been awful. Like crying, gnashing teeth, and pulling hair miserable. And that’s just my reaction to everything. Pineapple has been stressed out and sad – frustrated and angry – and has really started hating going to school. (I gotta be honest here…I’m frantically looking forward to the end of the year myself…and this is KINDERGARTEN for-the-LOVE!)

So, a couple of weeks ago, after meeting with the school specialists, the psychologist she visits each week, and her pediatrician, we pulled the medication trigger.

I know. Believe me, I know. I know what you’re thinking. “You’re medicating your kid?! How could you?! You’re awful! The terrible choice you are making will stamp out her unique and amazing personality! Think of what it does to her little body! Why can’t you just try harder/be more patient/put her in private school/have a specialist move in to your home and stay with her all day/accept her as she is/stop trying to make her fit in some mold that clearly doesn’t work for her/BE A BETTER PARENT?!”

I know you’re thinking these things because I’ve thought all of them. Twice. At 3AM. While crying. And praying. And wondering what on EARTH is the best thing to do.

And then I asked Pineapple.

I sat her down and I said “if you had something that would help you at school to pay attention, and learn, and not hurt your friends, and not leave the room, would you want that?” She started crying and said “yes, please.”

Bear in mind, she’d come home several times the weeks prior saying things like “I can’t control my body!” and “I’m so sorry I can’t behave at school.” She had begun to recognize that she isn’t just like all the other kids. She’s her and she’s different and she does things in her own way. We’ve never told her she’s “bad” or “not good” – she’s picking this stuff up from the other kids. It’s impacting her socially and emotionally.

And that’s when I made the choice. If she needed glasses, would I get them for her? Yes. If she needed insulin, would I buy it? Yep. If she needed an inhaler, wouldn’t she have one? For sure.

So why not this?

After EXHAUSTIVE talks with the pediatrician and a late night perusal of WebMD (followed immediately by more talks with the pediatrician), we made the choice.

And guess what…it was the right one.

She’s able to focus better. She’s listening. She’s paying attention. She’s LEARNING. She’s WRITING (please understand, a few weeks ago, she really wasn’t). She’s not hurting her friends – as often (nobody is perfect and she just “loves them SO much!”). She’s getting praise and gold stars and she’s not disrupting the whole class all day long. We were told last month that she was attentive and engaged about 50% of the day…that’s only half. That means the other half she was distracting the kids around her (disrupting THEIR ability to learn) and not absorbing any information for herself.

She’s still stressed about her behavior but the difference is, she’s recognizing that she has the ability to control that now. It’s not something she “just can’t help.” It’s something she can change.

I’m so proud of my little ADHD girl. And I’ve decided to stop blaming myself – even though it’s hereditary and I’m the one with ADHD. It’s her life and her experience. Not mine. I just have to give her the tools she needs to be successful. For now, it’s her medication. Maybe one day in the coming months, now that she’s able to focus and make some changes for herself, we can start moving away from medication to more therapy-guided changes. But for right now…today and the next however many days…this is working. And I’m GLAD we did it.

Someday I’ll share some stories of my own struggles with ADHD (alienation, feeling alone, having others point out how different I am, the embarrassment, losing focus, and feeling lazy, stupid, and nuts – there’s actually a book called “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid?!” and it’s a good book). In the meantime, I’m proud of DH and I for making this IMPOSSIBLY difficult decision and supporting our sweet Pineapple in any way we can so she can be happy and successful at this game called life.

And just in case you were wondering, her crazy/incredible personality is perfectly in tact. In fact, as she wore her purple ball gown and slippers while creating pointillism art last night, she looked at me and said “I’m a very good artist!” And she TOTALLY is!

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XOXO –
Rachael

Movement is Overrated.

So, it has recently come to my attention – mostly thanks to Pineapple – that I may be carrying a few extra L-B’s. (That would be pounds for those of you who don’t regularly discuss the number of L-B’s they need to lose.) Pineapple has been kind enough to point out that mommy “has a baby in her belly” (totally untrue) and when my sister was pregnant a few months ago, folks actually looked like they were preparing to congratulate me when Pineapple would announce “I’m going to have a baby to play with soon!” So…yeah…some L-B’s need to go.

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With this in mind, I went searching for some options that would 1. fit with my schedule, 2. be relatively engaging/entertaining, and 3. wouldn’t require me to run for miles on end or stop eating altogether. I found a solution in the form of one of those “pilates-yoga-ballet” classes and decided to give it a go by committing to 10 classes.

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When I told my friend about this her response was “I’d rather have my ass drag the ground than attend any such class.” I think she’s serious. I also think she’s smarter than I am but I digress.

We’ll call the class “Booty-B-Gone” and “BBG” for short, for the purposes of this post. Because, if I’m being honest, that’s what I’m looking for. Less bass and the incorporation of a washboard into the band…although that is probably aiming a bit high. (HA! I said “a bit” – so funny.)

So, this past weekend, I went to my first BBG class. I was feeling optimistic because, upon arrival, I realized the class participants varied in age (from 18/19 up to early 70’s) and the ladies in the room seemed to be at various stages of fitness (some really, really, super fit – as in, I’m not sure why you are here but maybe it’s because this class is working so well – and others that had on about 5 different kinds of braces and assured me they wouldn’t finish the class without possibly passing out). Either way, I felt like everything was going to be OK. That just proves, yet again, how poor my decision making process can be.

The ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE BBG instructor started telling us all a bit about what to expect from the class. I didn’t hear the words “run laps” one single time so I was all smiles. She also left the door open and had turned the heat off so the room was really chilly. When a couple of us commented on this, one of the other women, whom I’d begun to mentally refer to as “one of my tribe members” due to her relative visible health level being comparable to my own, assured me that I would warm up quickly and she would be sweating buckets before it was all over.

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OK…now I’m getting a little nervous.

We started out on our toes – just doing a little up/down thing and sort of raising and lowering our arms. Then…the BBG instructor made us squat…on our toes…and continue the movement. Then she made us use weights and double time the movement. This is approximately the time when I fell over…for the first time. Like, literally fell over.

It got worse.

I leaned/reached/squatted/bent/stretched/pointed/flexed/wiggled until I seriously thought I was going to DIE. And I was BURNING UP. Like sweat EVERYWHERE. And the lady in front of me was developing a heart-shaped sweat pattern on her lower back – actually very charming.

We were 15 minutes into the class.

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That was the point I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do everything for the whole class. When  that BBG woman made us move from leg raises at the barre to mountain climbers, I started mentally planning what I was going to do to prevent the incredible soreness I knew I was facing in the immediate future. I began daydreaming about a boiling hot bath and some epsom salt. About 30 minutes later, when I was lying on the floor with a ball balanced between my knees, squeezing for all I was worth, I decided that I would just schedule a massage to immediately follow the next Saturday’s class. Then I started wondering how I would clean up before the massage because, as I mentioned, SWEATY. MESS. This distracted me for about 30 seconds until the masochistic BBG person had us reach behind us, grab our foot, and try to pull it over our heads.

When it was all over and done, I wobbled my way across the room to put my weights and ball away, and shakily sip some water. And realized that most of the class was also barely moving around. And I seriously felt good. I felt a real sense of accomplishment.

It’s Monday now. I can walk again although stairs are out. I spent all of yesterday MOANING every time I had to bend over/pick something up/reach over my head/or sit on the couch. Yes, sitting hurt. But I was also super proud of every groan and ache.

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I’m going back again next Saturday. All I ask is that you pray for me. Lord knows I was raising it up right along with my leg for that hour of BBG. It probably wouldn’t hurt to pray for the instructor, as well…I started mentally planning some evil for her when we reached the 45 minute mark. I don’t anticipate she will fare any better next time. Amen.

XOXO

~Rachael

OMG…LOL…whatevs.

I was feeling sad about the holidays being over so I decided to visit the future and take a peek at what the wrap of our holidays will look like 7 years from now…I found that Pineapple’s Diary was a GREAT resource for that information…enjoy.

PINEPAPPLE’S DIARY

KEEP OUT!

(This means you, Mom!)

(Dad, if you see mom reading this, please remind her that my privacy is a real thing and it is important to me and she is not respecting that and we are both disappointed in her.)

(Thanks.)

1/3/2022

Dear Diary,

Well, the Christmas break is coming to a close and tomorrow I head back to school. I’ve picked out my outfit and it is AMAZE-pants. Ky is gonna FLIP when she sees my new floral print blazer. It is soooo super retro cool. Here’s a pic of it: (fabs, amirite??!!??).

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Anyway, I’m feeling a little sorry for mom and dad. I mean, they’ve been going to work and stuff over the break while I got to chill here, play vids, and raid the fridge but we still had a lot of quality time together. I know how important that is to them. And I made sure the house needed some cleaning when they got home – it’s mom’s favorite hobby. I’m always thinking of them. They are so super needy, you know?

They always want to be around me and I know they love it when I get them up in the morning to make me breakfast. It’s important to them they they get to take care of me, so I go OUT of my way to get up super early, get them up, eat breakfast with them, and then once they’re gone, I head back to bed for a nap. I sometimes wonder if they will ever know the sacrifice I make for them by getting up that early for NO REASON other than to let them spend time with me.

And just the other night, they were just sitting there alone in the living room, watching TV. Mom was knitting and dad was just sitting there with his feet propped up drinking one of those nasty scotches while they watched some lame movie (probably nothing actually any good was on). So, I walked in and started a conversation. Don’t tell anybody, but I told them all about how Ellie has been using ZERO manners and not respecting private space by making out with Ryan…like all the time. I know, I promised not to tell that she kissed Ryan but SHEESH, it was a public service for my parents!!! They were BORED!!! I know because as soon as we started talking they turned off that boring show and mom put her knitting away and they were totally asking me all sorts of questions about me and and Ellie and if I’d kissed anybody. They were so interested in what I have going on…I think it’s because they have such boring lives. Either way, PUBLIC SERVICE.

But tonight was the worst. They were drinking. Pretty heavily by the looks of the empty wine bottle on the counter. And they were just sitting there at the counter with their glasses, whispering and toasting. I think they were trying not to disturb me. because I’m pretty sure mom was crying…because I heard them say “the break is over…she goes back to school tomorrow.” So. Sad.

So, I’ve decided that next Saturday, I’m going to get up super early – like SUPER – and get them to take me shopping. That will totally make their boring day so much brighter. I mean, they are always saying that the reason they work so hard is so I can have the things I need. I definitely need some new moon boots for my rainbow-print jacket – they have some super retro cool ones at the mall…I saw them when I was there with Ky. Mom acts like she thinks they’re ugly but I know she likes retro because she had a jacket almost exactly like mine when she was in middle school. :P Here’s a pic: (loooooovees).

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Kisses!

Pineapple

2014…meh.

Yeah….so, 2014? Not my best year ever. And from what I’m gathering from friends and family, not necessarily most folks’ best year ever. So, I thought I’d share some highlights from my year and some goals for the next…you know, because it’s that time and all….

2014 Highlight Reel (Spoiler Alert! This is the poopy list.)

  • I turned 40.
  • I had an emergency appendectomy. (Because apparently, once you turn 40 your body just throws its hands in the air like it just don’t care”…in a bad way.)
  • I was laid off…while on medical leave for my appendectomy…I do not recommend this activity.
  • I interviewed with one company approximately 9 million times only to be told that I was too experienced and they needed someone more junior. REALLY?!
  • Pineapple started kindergarten. And turned 6. Within 2 days of each other. I cried…so. hard.
  • I had MORE surgery – this time because I developed a FREAKING HERNIA. Yep. You read that right. A FREAKING HERNIA. Why you ask? Oh, no reason. I was lying on a blanket in the park, reading while Pineapple played in the fountain…and when I stood up….my guts just sorta fell out. Yep. You read that right, too. Guts. Fell out. Of a hole. In my stomach muscles. Apparently, having kids + an appendectomy where they cut a hole in your navel area = really weak navel area. Or better known as “once you turn 40, your body just throws its hands in the like it just don’t care”…in a BAD. WAY.)
  • Pineapple’s teachers started noticing that she struggles in class…a lot. She can’t sit still, can’t focus, doesn’t really follow directions, has trouble retaining information (probably because of the not-focusing), and her speech language delay has become a real issue now that she’s older and the other kids struggle to understand what she is saying. It causes very real frustration for her. And it’s very scary for her parents. (That would be me and DH…we’re worried.)
  • I had to have 4 fillings. Why? Because I grind my teeth and cracked them and created these massive holes in my teeth. Why do I grind them? OH, I DON’T KNOW. Care to wager a guess???
  • DH, Pineapple, and I have been sick. All. Fall / Winter. Long. Honestly. I’ve bought stock in Robitussin and Advil. I’m gonna be rich, at least.
  • I had a hangover. Kidding! I had like 900 hangovers. Why did I have hangovers? OH, I DON’T KNOW. Care to wager a guess????????

But like I said…it wasn’t all poopy. Some really good things happened in 2014….

  • DH took me to Seattle for my 40th and my Lil Sis threw a Mardi Gras-themed party for me on my return. I got to spend alone time with DH and still got to party with my friends and family. BIG win-win!
  • We took a mini-vacation to the Wildlife Safari in Winston, Oregon (which was AMAZING) and then bopped our way down the coast visiting the Newport Aquarium and other cool places along the way. It was a simple, easy, and CHEAP family vacation…and it was perfect. We plan to repeat this as often as possible.
  • I spent the summer with Pineapple. No work. No excuses. No “we’ll do that later.” We had an absolute blast! I introduced her to the library – like daily. We jumped in puddles, and ran through fountains, swam in pools, and touched some sting rays. We went to the coast, we camped in the backyard, we visited all of the hotspots for the pre-K set in the PDX area, and we ate a lot of unhealthy food all while wearing princess dresses (seriously…one of them had a hoop skirt…that one was a challenge getting in and out of the car). We. Had. Fun. It was honestly the best Summer I’ve had in many many years. So maybe…just maybe…getting laid off wasn’t such a bad thing?
  • My Lil Sis got engaged – married – and had a baby! That means, I got to celebrate an engagement, help throw a BEAUTIFUL wedding in the Columbia Gorge, and welcome a new AMAZE-PANTS baby nephew to our Pineapple-loving family. And he’s a cutie!!! (No really! I didn’t even have to use the “oh, you must be proud” fall back all southern women are familiar with…don’t lie…you know exactly what I’m talking about.)
  • Pineapple started kindergarten. This one is bittersweet so it’s in both lists. She’s getting so big and learning so much every day. Even with her struggles to stay still / focused and correct her speech delay, she is still growing and changing constantly and acquiring new skills…and new challenges. I worry for her constantly but DH and I are working with her, and anyone else we can get our hands on, to help her be successful in her educational journey. It’s tough for all of us but if you’ve read a single post on this blog over the years, then I’m sure you know that she’s worth it.
  • I got a new job with a great firm and I’m actually enjoying the work! It’s challenging, I’m given the freedom I need to identify new opportunities for growing the business, and I’m meeting some pretty cool people in the process. Let me sum it up this way…DH took Pineapple, her friend, and my niece to the aquarium today. My comment? “I wish I didn’t have to work and could be there with you!…but I’m really glad I have a job I like.” That’s saying something, folks.
  • My Lil SisInLaw got married!!! In Nantucket!!!! Which means that I got to throw a fun engagement party for the bride and groom, then our whole fam damily picked up and hauled our buts to a tiny island off the east coast where I got to help out with a gorgeous wedding. It was beautiful and fun and a real adventure for everyone! DH and Pineapple got to see the Atlantic coast for the first time, we had a chance to tour Boston (new to both of them, as well), and we created some pretty amazing memories in the process.
  • We just celebrated a quiet and fun holiday at home with (some of our) family and (a few of) our friends. We wish we could have spent time with everyone but due to distance and hectic schedules, that just wasn’t going to happen this year. But we had a really great time with the folks we did get to see…we are truly blessed in that department.

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So, in spite of the job issues and stupid surgeries and stupid fillings and being stupid sick all fall / winter, we had a pretty amazing year. I suppose that even with the bad, there is good to be found. Maybe my struggle isn’t with the year…maybe it’s with my perspective.

…….

BRING ON 2015!!!!!!

XOXO – Rachael

P.S. I’m back. :)

 

 

 

Pushed to Our Limits

Pineapple is turning into her mother. Yeah, that’d be me.

Ever had those moments where your kid says something and you have to hide in the other room, quickly turn around, or put your face in a pillow to keep yourself from LAUGHING OUT LOUD? This happens because you IMMEDIATELY recognize the fact that your kid is turning into you (or your DH, I suppose). Case in point….

…SCENE: Pineapple is in her bathroom going potty. I am in her bedroom picking out her outfit for the day. It’s early morning, we haven’t made it downstairs for breakfast yet, and due to hunger and a dislike for getting up + deadlines, we are grumpy.

Me: Are you done going potty yet?

Pineapple: Not yet!

Me: Be sure to wipe your girl parts when you are done!

Pineapple: OK

Me: I hear you moving around in there – are you done?

Pineapple: *flush* YES!

Me: Did you wipe your girl parts?

Pineapple: I am!

Me: Don’t forget to wash your hands.

Pineapple: OK

Me: Did you wipe? There’d better be toilet paper in that potty!

Pineapple: *running water* I WIPED MY GIRL PARTS WITH THE TOILET PAPER!!!! STOP PUSHING ME TO MY LIMITS!!!”

END SCENE

That’s my girl! :)

 

XOXO –

Rachael

Like the Corners of My Mind….

Damn. Pineapple is getting older. CRAP CRAP CRAP.

I know, I know…those of you that have tollerated me tollerating her throughout her 3rd (and most perilous for all involved) year of life will probably be saying “yay” to that one…seriously 3 year olds are evil. However, I recently realized (like a lightning bolt) that I won’t be able to hold her much longer. When I hold her, her toes dangle below my knees. You got that? My 4 YEAR OLD’s toes dangle BELOW MY KNEES. She’s HUGE! *sigh* That means she’s also getting older. So, I’m gonna do a “posterity sake” post today…deal with it (it’s not like I can find her actual baby book, ya know).

“I love you guys.”

Pineapple didn’t want to get dressed in her room all alone so she joined DH and I in our bathroom/closet area to get changed….and also to use the facilities….after we noticed her walking across the room hunched over in her very specific “I have seriously got to pee but don’t want to stop what I’m doing” way. After both of us screamed, ran in circles, and then calmed down enough to softly encourage her to take those 5 extra steps to the toilet, she demanded privacy so I went back to the counter and DH went back into the closet. A few seconds go by and DH says “You doing OK in there?” “Yep,” responds Pineapple. Then I said “I don’t hear any peeing.” “It’s coming,” says Pineapple. A few seconds go whizzing by (hehe) and we hear “Momma, daddy?” “Yesssss?” we both respond, anticipating the worst. And instead we were pleasantly surprised with “I love you guys.” *happy sigh*

Hiney-butts.

Pineapple has decided that she has a hiney-butt. We have no idea where “hiney-butt” came from other than assuming that this is a conglomeration of names for her backside that arose out of a combination of instructions (i.e. “wipe your hiney”), directions (i.e. “sit down on your hiney (or butt)” depending on the mood), and threats (i.e. “do it again and you’re gonna get a butt spankin'” – reserved for when we are in dire straights and the word “STOP” has been translated to mean “RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AWAY FROM MOMMA AND DADDY IMMEDIATELY – RUN RUN RUN OR THEY WILL EAT YOU!!!!). Either way, it’s her invention, and it’s kinda cute. But it is mentioned ALLLLLLL THHHHEEEEE TIIIIIIMMMMEEE. Examples:

“I got dirt on my hiney-butt.”

“I’m shakin’ my hiney-butt.”

“Oops! My hiney-butt is cold.”

“Don’t look at my hiney-butt!”

“Hey! Look at my hiney-butt!”

You get the idea. Anyway, it’s kinda cute…but now EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING has a “hiney-butt” and anytime she can see or smack or undress a doll or catch a parent in the shower to see a hiney-butt results in 4 year-old hilarity. UNTIL you hear these words “your hiney-butt is big, Momma.” Game over kid…game. over.

“Gonna listen to your heart beep…”

Oh, Doc McStuffins. Thank you for saving us from that ballet dancing rat, Angelina, and from the seizure inducing programming of Horseland. But your time is almost up, dear. Pineapple ADORES this Disney offering – Doc McStuffins. If you are unfamiliar, “Doc” is a little girl who has a doctor for a mom and fancies herself as a doctor to her stuffed animals…which she animates with her stethoscope…and tells to ‘go stuffed’ when a parental gets near. She does check ups (“TIME FOR YOUR CHECK-UP, TIME FOR YOUR CHECK-UP”) on them and then fixes their owies/boo boos/ouchies whatevs and then they sing the “I feel better” song. It’s cute, it’s clever. Until, like DH, you realize “so this kid thinks she’s a doctor, she spends all her time alone with her stuffed animals, and she’s sure they’re talking to her? Is this a psychosis show?” Oh. yeah, that is a little weird. Also, the stuffies get all kinds of illnesses – a splinter is worth an entire episode….as are the hiccups (which now make Pineapple “sick”). A few things have fallen out of this show: 1. Pineapple has developed a healthy interest in “doctoring” – she has a cute little doctor kit and she really likes to play with it. 2. She doesn’t WANT to check up her dolls (apparently, she’s not psychotic), she wan’t to check up her parents! We are the most fit family on the planet right now per her plastic steth0scope, otoscope, and blood pressure gauge. And we’re tired of it. 3. She’s turned into a little hypochondriac – I’m not kidding. She asks for medicine all the time and does this little “ooooohhhh….shhhhhh…” sucking spit through her teeth noise if she so much as bumps her hand on the counter and says “I got a baaaad boo boo.” 4. She sings the songs. A LOT. And that would be a kind of annoying thing….except for this…there is one point during the “check up” song during which Doc says “I’m gonna listen to your heart beat, fix you up, ready to gooooo.” Well, Pineapple has translated this to a “heart BEEP.” I know, right? You have NO idea how frickin’ cute it is to have a 4 year old come at you with a pretend stethoscope saying “momma be till…I listen to your heart beep.” ACK….just OD’d on cuteness.

What can I say? She’s cute – we’re happy – life is good – and I hope it stays this way. In the meantime, I’ll continue to update my babybook blog and maybe you’ll get a kick out of reading it. Deal? Happy weekend!

XOXO

Rachael

An Open Letter to Nanny 911

I really, truly wish that this was a post about my adorable daughter who just turned 4 the other day. I really wish I could talk about how cute she is (she really is), how smart she is (totally), and how funny she can be (seriously – a laugh riot!). But, this is a different kind of post….

…this is about to get real…so be warned.

Dear Nanny – I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SO SO SO SO done. My kid has freakin’ lost her mind and I’m seriously on the verge of visiting a priest, much less reaching out to you. But I figured, hey…why not? Let’s just give it a shot.

Now I know what you’re going to say. “There are no bad kids – just parents that aren’t parenting properly.” Well, I’m here to tell you. That is probably true. But it is also CRAP. This kid is BAD with a capital BAD.

Want to know how I know? She CHOKED me last night. That’s not a joke. She literally choked me. Know why? I was drying her hair. Yep. Drying her wet hair so she didn’t catch a cold/pneumonia/end up in a ditch. That’s all I was doing. I wasn’t torturing her or threatening her life – no real reason for a super violent response. But this is what we’re getting lately.

Here’s my guess: she’s frustrated. She’s upset that we don’t always understand her. She’s upset that we can’t always sit at home with her and instead have to work and she has to go to school. She’s upset that we sometimes want to watch something BESIDES the Disney Channel (we seriously feel honored when we get to watch the Neverending Story, Sky High, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or Labyrinth…those are basically grown up movies for us now).

I feel like my sweet little girl was eaten by this awful little monster that is demanding (“You sit down WITE NOW! You NO MANNERS!”), rude (“No. I SAY NO!”), mean (“I don’t want you – you go AWAY!”), and violent (in the last month I’ve been scratched, pinched, bitten, kicked, hit and, most recently, choked).

Here’s what we’ve been doing to combat this behavior:

  • Time out – a LOT of freakin’ time out. She even has her own stool for this because she spends so much time there.
  • Talking – a lot of it – a lot of explaining what good behavior is and why bad behavior is no good. Explaining why manners will make her happy in life and how hurtful it is to be mean to others.
  • Spanking – yes, spanking – SORRY FOLKS but it is sometimes necessary. You give me a call when your kid takes off running down the street and towards a shopping center parking lot with you pleading and screaming as your run behind her. Give me a call when she kicks the dog. Give me a call when she is trying to put a screwdriver in the light socket AGAIN. Call me. We can chat.
  • Taking her toys away – at the moment, she doesn’t have a single toy in her room or her bathroom. That’s what happens when you kick and choke mommy while she blow dries your hair. Mommy doesn’t play.

The thing that kills me is that she doesn’t act like this with other people. She’s polite, waits her turn, pays attention. The teachers at her school asked me if she’d been to a formal school before – she has been THAT good. But with me and, to a lesser degree, DH, it’s the freaking EXORCIST.

I get it. I’m a marshmallow. I’m a great big pushover and I’d do anything/be anything/go anywhere for my girl. And she knows it. And she’s pushing me. But damn.

Add to it the fact that she is too danged busy/lazy to go to the toilet 50% of the time and the fact that she RARELY stops moving (constantly climbing, jumping, running, hiding – NEVER stops – and I do mean NEVER – that is not an exaggeration) and you have one burnt out mama.

So, Nanny. What do you say? Wanna come to my house and tell me what a crappy parent I am? I’m game. JUST MAKE IT STOP!

Mkay? Thanks!

XO – RachaelImage

FYI – that’s her time out stool in the background, as well as the dog she kicked, and yes, she is holding her crotch to keep from peeing her pants….again. *sigh*